Photo Courtesy / Anna-Maria Kalesoski

From tiger moms to eagle dads, how does pressure from parents impact students?

In a survey of approximately 100 UTSC students, results were both startling and scattered. On a scale of one to 10, 30 per cent of respondents rated the pressure from their parents at 10; 64 per cent said the personal decisions they make are heavily dependent on their parents’ opinions.

This pressure on some students is overwhelming and potentially dangerous, and can be a threat to their mental health.

In her analysis of parental pressure, Dr. Nancy Snyderman found that 70 per cent of children pressured in sports by their parents give up sports by the age of 13. When these kids were asked why they dropped out or quit, many replied, “It’s not fun anymore.”

As it is, university students are already under significant pressure to maintain a good GPA, have a social life, work, participate in extracurricular activities and sometimes take care of their family.

So where is the pressure rooted? Parents heavily influence or strictly control three dominant spheres of a student’s life: career choice, finance and love. Sixty per cent of students said their parents hover like helicopters over their love lives.

However, some students indicated they also receive incredible support from their parents. Tara Mazurk, a second-year arts management student, happily exclaimed, “My mother is my support system, my mentor, my inspiration. She taught me to be independent but I will always look to her for guidance.”

Along with Mazurk, 30 per cent of students indicated they receive great emotional support from their parents at their current age.

A parent’s influence over their child’s life is undeniable. Especially as young children, we alter our behaviour according to our parent’s expectations, which often continues even as children become young adults.

University of California Berkeley sociology Professor Arlie Hochschild found children’s schedules and parental anxieties mirror what is happening in their parents’ careers. Particularly when parents are financially supporting their child’s education, they believe they can demand more. This cultural pressure to be better can manifest itself as a shallow urge for status, to the point where grades or a medical degree become more important than knowledge. Students become overscheduled, attempting to achieve not only their own, but their parents’ expectations.

“Whether I’ve followed their wishes and beliefs or chosen to go in the opposite direction, all my choices have been impacted by [my parents’] demands and their pressure. I want to keep them pleased, but at the same time be satisfied with my own personal choices. It’s hard,” revealed an anonymous survey respondent.

Ultimately, while they may be able to pressure you into making certain decisions, your final choices are up to you. Best tip: do what feels right.