Photo Courtesy / Anna-Maria Kalesoski

You’re watching TV. Commercial break. You reach for the remote, when you hear: “Feeling hopeless or restless? Guilty, ashamed or anxious? Do you have a headache, maybe low self-esteem? Well, I hope you’re sitting down, because you’ve got depression!”

And then just like feeling an itch spread across your arm the moment you see a spider, you suddenly feel the need to grab some aspirin, or just glance in the mirror and wonder, when was the last time you smiled?

Take a look at the person sitting next to you during your math exam. You can just feel her desk shake under her pencil, pounding away at her Scantron sheet. Or that guy you see in the same study carrel every night, writing paper after paper. They seem like most other students: hard-working, eager, frantic. But they may also be the people who are suffering the most, and don’t always realize something may be wrong.

Most of us are familiar with at least one student who is a perfectionist. Some are more easily exposed, wearing their GPA on their sleeves, while others you’ll find only when you peel back the layers between the library shelves. That hunger for success, the need to do more, to be the best — that’s perfectionism. Is it wrong? Absolutely not. Is it easy? Rarely (and if it is, you’re doing it wrong).

“For most courses, students are assessed primarily in terms of how well they can learn and understand the content of a specific course, and their GPAs reflect that learning…In the ‘real world’ however, one’s performance is often reflected not by what they know, but by their abilities to think critically and creatively, and to communicate their thoughts effectively, skills that develop with repeated practice,” said Steve Joordens, a psychology professor at UTSC.

“However, in my opinion, we don’t give our students enough practice at the university level. When GPAs reflect thinking and communication skills, in addition to content learning skills, then I think they will predict performance in the real world much better,” he explained. Along with graduate student Dwayne Pare, Joordens implemented this strategy through the peerScholar program, an online peer assessment tool that allows for effective communication between students.

The current job market is flooded with fresh graduates looking for jobs with their degrees in one hand and astronomical GPAs in the other, who want and expect a job because they worked hard in university. They joined at least three clubs, spearheaded at least two organizations, worked and studied for every paper and exam that came their way.

But what you can’t prepare for is rejection and disappointment.

Despite that near-4.0, you can’t even score an unpaid internship, much less an entry-level career opportunity. You feel pessimistic, angry, bitter, dissatisfied. And now, all those TV commercials suddenly seem to apply.

“I remember going into my second year, my third, my fourth and feeling incredibly stressed each time the year started. Things would pile up; I would have multiple exams, essays, quizzes. So then I pretty much set aside my social life and worked more. And then I was sleeping less, and just got more miserable. It was a miserable cycle,” said Zara Wasti, a fourth-year English student.

Reports from the American College Health Association’s National College Health Assessment show that the percentage of students who report a diagnosis of depression has increased from 10 per cent in 2000 to 18 per cent in 2008.

Konstantine Zakzanis, associate professor of psychology at UTSC, is less certain about whether the rate of student depression has risen in the past few years. “What has grown is our awareness of mental illness…our empathy and accepting stance for those who are mentally ill,” he said. “In the ten years that I have worked at UTSC, I have seen this rise in consciousness more than I have seen anything else.”

He added that a huge part of taking care of these feelings is realizing that you have them and that your lifestyle is not beneficial to your academic life and health.

In a study conducted by Northwestern University’s Professor Michael Fleming, surveying both American and Canadian university students, it was found that one of every four or five students who visits a university health centre for a cold or sore throat is actually depressed, while nearly two to three per cent of these students have had suicidal thoughts or is considering suicide.

But walking into the Health & Wellness Centre on campus, confidential as it may be, can be a nerve-wracking and self-conscious experience. Often times, help is avoided through fear of exposing weakness.

“Healthy lifestyle choices, such as diet and exercise are great preventative strategies,” suggested Zakzanis. “Focus on the here and now, rather than what has yet to come. [Negative events] bring us valuable life lessons and if we fail to see what these lessons are, we are prone to the symptoms of depression.”

Expecting to perform exceptionally well every time you commit to doing anything is unrealistic—you’re setting yourself up for disappointment, Joordens said. “If one is a “perfectionist” in the sense that they expect to be perfect, then they are essentially assuming that everything about their performance should be very good, all the time. So when it is, they don’t feel especially good about it. But when bad things happen, and bad things always happen sooner or later, then these bad things are seen as major tragedies. When something bad happens, it becomes a tragedy.”

“Nobody can be great, let alone perfect, at everything. Einstein admitted to being not such a great husband, and Steve Jobs admitted to not being the best father,” he explained. “Often we choose to engage in things we are good at, partly because we know in advance that we will do well, and that feels good. It’s safe in some sense. But sometimes there are things we want to do that we know we are not yet good at. In such cases, the only way to get good is to practice and get advice from others, and during this learning process we can often feel stupid and incompetent. But if the goal is something we want, there is no other way to get it.”

Joordens suggested writing down all the good things (without the bad) that happen throughout your day, and each night re-read and re-live them. He points out that both a perfectionist and a depressed person can often overemphasize the negative and undervalue the positive. “Try to separate the emotion from the learning experience; de-personalize it.”

“I recently noticed that the perfectionist in me comes out academically. It’s not wrong to want to do better, but when I start to devalue even my improving grade, that’s when I know, ‘Okay, time to take a breather,’” said Andrew Lawrence, a fifth-year political science student.

No longer enjoying the things you once did, feeling ashamed or guilty can be symptoms of depression, along with irregular eating and sleeping patterns and general anxiety. It’s okay to ask for help and to visit your campus counselor. Joordens said, “[They are] the people who are there to help you, the ones who need it the most. They want to see you grow, they will be very supportive, and those first few steps from weak to better will feel great to you.”

When one is afraid to seek help, Zakzanis urges students to remember they are not alone.

Drop by or book an appointment at the UTSC Health & Wellness Centre in SL-270, open from 9 a.m. to 4:45 p.m. every Monday to Friday. Personal counselors can help you deal with various issues including addiction, sexuality, social anxiety and stress. Anything you share is confidential.