1. You scoff at people who decide to grab coffee or any overpriced treat at Starbucks when Tim Hortons is just a breath away. We raise one iced capp to your friend’s fancy venti café mocha. Seriously.

2. Dorms? What dorms? Not only have you never stepped inside one, the concept is completely foreign to you. Local commuters for the win. Living with your parents has never been so cool.

3. The vast majority of the people you know are fiercely pre-med and members of BioSA, uSCIENTIA or any other academic group with a scientific basis. No judgment here.

4. The leisurely walk to the Management building is more of a marathon for you compared to the stone’s throw distance you are from every other class. And with the new Instructional Centre, it may just be time to buy a golf cart.

5. Bell curves are your saving grace.

6. You regularly run into professors at Tim Horton’s, the Marketplace or an empty hallway. A list of icebreakers in your back pocket will be your best bet. Better yet, avoid eye contact entirely.

7. You’ve got an emergency hard hat in your locker for construction days (i.e. every day).

8. By the end of your undergrad, you’ll have ‘extra’ on your resume (or ‘lurker/stalker’), thanks to the several films that require dark, dungeon-esque settings filmed at UTSC.

9. Sports? What are those?

10. You’ve discovered that the valley behind UTSC is a beautiful place for assorted activities including weeping over one’s GPA, lovemaking and the occasional game of tennis.

11. The ‘Hot Dog Guy’ is on your speed dial. Enough said.

12. The lack of grace, but nevertheless swift and hasty action, of the campus police (i.e. parental parking patrol at the drop-off loop) never ceases to amaze you.

13. You go to the library and are deafened by the daily dose of socialization between UTSC’s best and brightest. Forget research! Having fun isn’t hard when you’ve got a T-card.

14. So much for that back-to-school iPhone/Macbook, when you realize there’s no wireless service in places like the S-wing dungeons.

15. You’ll tell your grandchildren you once spat on Paul Bernardo’s face and then nicked it. Hey, it’s as good as any degree!